IT'S A FARTY! (This post is not for the prudish at heart)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Someone planned a farty in my family (a fart party) and didn't tell me. Or maybe it was meant to be a surprise farty just for me (how sweet).

Last night as I ventured out for some alone time at Target (tar-jay) I got a fun surprise while entering the hubby's car. Text from me: "Your car smells like a fart." Text back: "Ha ha!"

I arrived home to the following situation.
Maribelle: "Mommy, Campbell farted in my face!"
Campbell: "It was an accident."
Me: "Campbell tell your sister your sorry for farting in her face."

(fit of giggles from all of us)

I then went to greet the hubby and baby boss. The hubby informed me that baby boss had the longest fart he's ever heard (how does so much gas get stored in such a little body?). Boss baby just smiled and cooed.

(giggles from the rest of us)

You have to admit that flatulence is quite funny. I was once shopping in Wal-Mart and heard a little squeak behind me. I turned and saw an old man perusing the merchandise. He had large hearing aids in each ear which clearly weren't turned on because he continued to produce an impressive symphony of sounds from his rear end. Though I was done shopping in that area, I admit I remained just to see how long it would go on. He set a record and made my night as I ran out of the isle unable to control my laughter any longer.

I've also learned an important lesson from Whoopi cushions. Don't buy your kids expensive toys for Christmas. Zhu Zhu pets? forget it. Whoopi cushions are the way to go. "Come sit over here mom (giggle giggle)." For two weeks straight it was their mission to elicit the fart sound from me. Of course, I always knew what they were doing, but I played along until one night the joke was one me.
I tiptoed into their room to check on them before I went to bed. As I approached their bunk beds I stepped right on the inflated Whoopi cushion which expressed it's air with a very loud farting noise. It scared them wide awake. They cried. I laughed.

Even Mythbusters devoted an episode, more than one actually, to flatulence. One was "Do pretty girls fart?" I don't believe it was actually aired but you can view the video at this link- MYTHBUSTERS VIDEO. Trust me, It's well worth your time (laughter is a very good antidepressant:).

Commander Campbell, my boy genius who can already read, just scanned the computer screen and asked, "Are you writing about farts mommy?" "Yes, yes I am," I replied.

Let's face it...farts are funny. Everybody farts...except for me of course.

Farty on!


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4 comments:

  1. love love love it! at least you don't have to come home to raunchy dog farts! Avery gives patrick a run for his money in the rotten egg farts as well..... oy

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  2. Thanks for commenting on my blog so I could meet you :) You are hilarious! Loved the post.

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  3. Jamie, It's just another reason I don't have pets:).

    Becky, I Look forward to reading more of your posts.

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  4. Hey Jody, I am putting together a slideshow for my young women's new beginnings. and I was wondering if I could use the picture of Maribelle holding the baby. It's just what I was looking for. I could take it from your blog if it's okay. Please!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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