CRYDAR

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I am positive baby boss has CRYDAR. An unbelievably accurate sixth sense telling him to cry whenever it's inconvenient for me and the Hubby. If I've had one or two nights of semi-normal sleep, CRYDAR sends a signal to baby boss's brain and a tingling sense to his throat informing him it's time to scream.

The many sleepless hours caused by this phenomenon have allowed me plenty of time to analyze CRYDAR. I've concluded that at some point in my life I was unknowingly bitten by a bat. Somehow this altered my DNA passing on a genetic mutation to my babies (Sounds logical, right?). This mutation is the reason CRYDAR is a nocturnal ability.

Last night CRYDAR was in full effect. The Hubby and I decided to watch a movie after the kids were in bed, which we haven't done in a loooooooooooooong time. As soon as we got comfortable and started enjoying the movie, baby boss started fussing. The Hubby and I looked at each other as if to say, "You or me?" I got up and put baby boss back to sleep.

As soon as we started laughing at the movie and enjoying ourselves again, a bat like shriek came from the baby's crib (Did I mention the greater our comfort and enjoyment the more sensitive CRYDAR becomes?). This highly annoying cycle continued throughout the movie. Get comfortable, baby cries, put bat baby back to sleep, rinse, and repeat. Eventually we just took turns standing and holding baby boss as we watched the movie, determined to finish.

Last night was particularly bad (Was it a full moon?). Baby boss cried off and on all night long. At one point, I held him while he wailed for a full 45 minutes. His longest stretch of sleep was two hours. I desperately wracked my brain for ways to scramble the CRYDAR signal, but alas, nothing helped.

Then, as the first rays of sun came up this morning, baby boss calmed down and let out a long fit of flatulence. The light of day brought me a more sane perspective. "Silly me. Baby boss doesn't have CRYDAR. That's crazy talk," I thought to myself.

Then, as if on cue, baby boss looked up at me and smiled cunningly. Bursting through his soft gummy grin was the bud of his first tooth. I blinked my eyes and shook my head in amazement. It was his upper canine poking out (No joke. True story.). I knew it! CRYDAR is real.

My other two kids also utilized CRYDAR as infants. Thankfully, they have shown me that it's effect slowly wears off over time leaving me with wonderfully behaved children.

Until baby boss grows older I am left having to cope with the effects of CRYDAR. While writing this blog I've downed a Mountain Dew and eaten a cupcake for breakfast (Wheaties are way over rated!). And guess who is now sleeping peacefully?

I have a feeling today is going to be interesting. Stupid CRYDAR!

CRYDAR = Crying, Ruins, Your, Day, Again, Regretfully.
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2 comments:

  1. Oh Jody...your written words couldn't be more perfect or accurate. I totally can relate on ALL levels!
    Our babies must've been born within days of eachother...Adalyn's birthday is 10/1. When is Baby Boss's?

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  2. Jody, you make me laugh! despite the awful "crydar" syndrome. I love that you call your baby, Baby Boss! all you can do is try and laugh through the tears and frustration, right?? or blog about it!

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