NEGLECT

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I'm usually pretty good about writing on my blog every day, but I've really been neglectful lately. I think the closer I get to moving, the more crunched for time I feel. But, I'd be lying if I said that lack of time was the only reason I haven't been writing.

To be honest, sometimes it gets burdensome to write a blog entitled "Depression hurts. Blogging helps." I've mentioned before that one of the hardest parts about having depression is being labeled. I guess this past week I've wanted to run from that label a little. Having depression and then writing every day on a depression blog makes that hard.

There are many different kinds of blogs. Family blogs that allow me to catch up on my friend's lives; Craft blogs that give me great ideas; Food blogs that help me prepare dinner at night. When I read these blogs I think, "Oh, I'm so glad their family is doing well." Or, "These people are so talented. How do they come up with these amazing ideas?!"

After reading the above mentioned blogs I may refer the blog to a friend and say, "This person is so crafty." Or, "She is such a great cook!" Notice how I labeled these authors as "crafty" and "great cook" ?

After reading one of my blog posts one might think,"Poor little Jody with depression." If someone were to recommend my blog they may say, "I know someone with depression. You should read her blog." Though this is a good thing, I am now the "girl with depression." A label that is true, but that I don't want. If a new acquaintance asks me for my blog address/title, once given, the label once again appears as does the shock on their face (or their polite attempt to cover their surprise).

There are a lot of days that it would be much easier to just not write a blog and keep my struggles hidden. Just like everyone else, I prefer that only my positive traits be displayed. But, for some reason, I keep writing. And I will, as long as you keep reading:).
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5 comments:

  1. Think how the gal with the Nie Nie blog must feel about
    being the girl who was burned in a plane. But she keeps on for herself and for the people she helps. Quite honestly, dear, I read your blog every day. It gives me a boost or an insight. I only read other types when I need an idea. We love you.

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  2. I'm so glad you keep this blog. I'm not very good at reading blogs but yours is one of the only blogs I actually keep up on. Plus when I have days like yesterday when I forget to take my medicine and nothing is going right and I'm stressed and frustrated and ornery...on days like that, I feel like I have someone else who understands my situation. Someone else who I think is great and "normal" like me. It makes me feel less afraid to admit that I too, have depression. I do. It's real, and it can be painful. And thanks, in part, to you, that is less difficult to admit.

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  3. Jody, that may be a label that people who don't know you may give you. Those of us who do, know the kind of person you are. I know you are a go getter, a powerful source of strength to those around you a caring understanding friend. A woman who many times I looked up to and wondered... How on earth can she pull it all together. By writing you are just letting us know that you are not perfect, and thank goodness. We all have struggles that put us down in one way or another. I have been pregnant 7 times, and when I tell people that they wonder what kind of messed up disease I have that does not allow me to carry babies to term. I told myself many times... That is one thing that should come natural to me, something my body should be able to do, and yet t doesn't do it, unless I take so many medications. What good am I then, if I can't even make babies? that's all I am, a mother, i didn't go to school and I got married at barely the age of 19, good for nothing right? but some how we keep doing, with our struggles, we take on life as it comes and do what we can with it. I am proud of you for being so bold and putting your self out here. I have had moment of depression after every loss, and I am so vulnerable and feel so weak, I know I could not tell people how dark some of those days were, and are. I am glad to know you, you just have to know that God gave you this struggle, so no matter how hard you try you are not perfect, putting the rest of us to shame.

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  4. Depression is a struggle that you have, but I know that it's not who you are, and I think that anyone who knows you, knows that too. You are awesome and if you weren't so dang nice and down-to-earth you'd be kind of intimidating because you've got it together in so many of the areas of life that REALLY count. You've always been a friend that I look up to and want to be more like. It may sound corny or "trite" but you're one of those people who's always made me want to be a better person. The fact that you are willing to put yourself out there and write about your struggles is just another one of the ways that you help people every day, with out even realizing it. So keep it up Jody! love ya

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