Tuesday, May 3, 2011

It seems the more I have to do, the more debilitated I am by lack of motivation. For a few weeks now I have been struggling to be productive...more than the usual struggle. I'm not sitting around on my butt all day (This is impossible if you have three kids...or one for that matter). Quite the opposite. I'm busy all day every day. But, I put off the things I don't want to do and my priorities are all screwy.

For instance, I have not been working out and eating right. I know that these two things make me feel mentally and physically 10 times better, but I'm still not doing them. I no longer can blame the weather, I have countless at home work out DVDs, and I have an elliptical in my living room. Not to mention the gym membership I haven't utilized in months (Talk about wasteful!).

Secondly, I'm moving in a few weeks and I have one, single, solitary, lonely box of books packed. I just stare at it and say, "See. I've started packing." Um, yeah. That's not going to cut it. When the heck am I going to get it together?! If I don't get started soon, the move will be more stressful than it needs to be and I will only have myself to blame.

Which leads me to a question that's been on my mind as of late. If you have depression, how much can you blame on depression and how much can you blame on your own laziness and inadequacies? I'll tell you from experience that this can be hard to figure out.

There are days that I get more accomplished than ten other people combined. There are also days that I just feel like I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, but get nothing really important accomplished. On super bad days it takes Herculean like strength just to get myself to fold the laundry.

Sometimes I feel like the real me gets lost somewhere in the mix. I'm not sure what I can and can't help. I guess the only thing I can do is push myself to do my best each day.

I know I haven't been doing my best lately and have gotten into an unhealthy cycle of not sleeping well, surviving on junk food, not have energy to get things done, and then feeling bad about it. I've really got to get it in gear people.

How do you amazing peeps break out of a rut when you really need to meet some goals? Where there's a will there's a way. I just need to find my will power.

Goal for the day- Pack four boxes, do two loads of laundry, cook a healthy meal for my family, and eat zero sweets. You've gotta start somewhere, right?


  1. I am a list maker. The more things that I check off of my list the better I feel. I like the visual of crossing things off. But I don't just put the big things. I put things like take the kids to school, eat breakfast, drink one glass of water. That way I am tricking myself into thinking that I am doing a lot more. It really works for me.

  2. I think one of the biggest lies in depression is the idea that we can do more and if we're not, we're lazy or bad in some way. Sometimes, some things are too much and we have to be okay with that. My counselor told me to say, "I choose to put off the packing today while I rest my body." instead of the should have/would haves. Do what you can, but when you force yourself to do more than you are able, I think you end up setting yourself backwards.
    That said, I often found myself taking the easy way out and saying I'm too tired or too...whatever. Be honest with yourself and see if it's an excuse to not do things you don't want to do. If you can prioritize between what's essential to do, what's necessary and what would be nice to do, you can set your priorities. Maybe set a timer and say, I'm only going to pack for 30 minutes. Once the timer goes off, if you feel up to doing more, do it. For me, getting started and moving was often the hardest part. Once I got started though, I was usually good so setting a timer worked really well for me.
    Best wishes. I'm thinking of you.

  3. I keep myself from stressing out by thinking of the 2 most important, gonna-affect-everyone-if-i-don't-get-it-done type stuff, and as long as I get those couple things done, I tell myself I had a successful day. Anything else that I may or may not get done is just extra. Makes me feel a whole lot better when I have a crazy day.

  4. Well if you get all those things done you are a hero in my eyes. Nothing is getting done around here. And I mean NOTHING. maybe lots of yawning and yelling at the kids to stop destroying the only part of the house that does not look like a tornado stop by for a visit. Hope you can accomplish all you need to. Mean while I am changing my blog address to
    keep up with us. Please.

  5. Wow that was a big goal for one day! Zero sweets? ;) You're not alone. Take baby steps. Take it one day at a time.


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