Friday, August 26, 2011

In the morning, I will often say to Sassafras, "Please keep an eye on your baby brother while I run upstairs real quick. I need to take my medicine." Two days ago, her response was, "Why do you have to take medicine every day?" I paused then responded...

"Well, everyone has chemicals in their body. All different kinds and some are called hormones. When I started having babies, my hormones got all jumbled up and confused and weren't working right any more. When they are confused, I feel super tired, grumpy, and sometimes sad. After each baby I have, it takes time for them to remember how to work correctly." 

Her reply was, "Oh," followed by her own pause. "Well, the baby is older now. Shouldn't you be better?" I smiled and said, "I'm getting there."

In my mind I was thinking, "If only it were that simple."

When baby boss was born, I continued on the dose of medication I'd been on for a long time. But, soon I had to increase the dose to get through the new baby phase. I just wasn't functioning well. Though a very moderate amount, this was a higher dose than I'd ever been on. It helped a lot, but after a few months I started noticing some symptoms I hadn't previously experienced.

I felt like my thoughts and vision were a little foggy (for a lack of a better word). I couldn't think clearly. I was also unable to accomplish goals that I used to be able to. It was as if off medication I was unmotivated for periods of time and it really made me upset. With the higher dosage, I was unmotivated, but the medication kept me from caring as much. 

The older baby boss got, the more I wanted to get back into the swing of things and I became increasingly frustrated by my lack of productivity. I felt like there was an invisible force preventing me from accomplishing anything. By process of elimination I realized the medication was causing the problems and I lowered my dosage.

I am currently on the lowest dose of meds since I started taking medication. My thoughts are clearer, my motivation is back, and I feel more like me. That being said, I did need the higher dose for a short, very stressful, period of time. 

Medication can be tricky and it's important to know your body and what feels right and wrong. And regardless of whether you need medication or not, believe you me, medication is not what makes someone a loser. 

Hopefully, as I try to live a healthy life, my body will continue to stabilize more and more. Heaven knows I'll need stability when Sassafras goes on her own roller coaster of "chemical" changes:). 



  1. Hey Jodi! I hope you don't mind I found your blog :) You are super cute and I'm excited to get to know you!! I've been going through and reading your old posts. I'm kinda creepy like that ;) I love your blog! It's always refreshing to see someone willing to put it all out there. Let's be friends?

  2. Lauren, Of course I don't mind! And, yes, let's be friends:).


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