I DIED IN MY DREAM AND IT WAS OKAY.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A few years ago, I had a dream and it was so real. I was in a crowded elevator with a bunch of strangers. The dim lighting provided a warm yellow atmosphere as we smiled politely at one another and waited for the cold metal doors to spit us out.

Suddenly, the elevator lurched, stalled, and fell into a furious descent towards the ground. It wasn't the kind of controlled fall that comes from being attached to a zip line or some kind of guided system. It was a fast free fall. It was the feeling of complete helplessness and time slowed down.

I looked at the stranger's faces. Many were contorted into tortured screams of fear. One man was sobbing like a child and another was clawing at the wall as if to escape.

I felt complete peace fall over me as I sat quietly in the corner. I bowed my head and said a silent prayer, "Heavenly Father, Please be with my family as I leave this Earth. Please comfort them and bring them peace." I was sure death was coming, but I was also sure everything would be okay.

As I raised my head and opened my eyes, I was no longer in the elevator. I was in Heaven. There were dozens of gray haired men and women waiting to greet me and the others (It was as if God had chosen the kindest of grandparents for this job). They wore comfortable white clothing and white name tags. A kind woman approached me and said hello. She took my hand and told me everything would be okay...I believed her. She radiated goodness and comfort. I was led to towards other heavenly workers who were seated at desks where I was to check in and receive instructions. Then....I woke up.

I've reflected on this dream many times. I feel that if this situation were to really happen, I would react very much the way I did in the dream. Though I would be concerned for my sweet family left behind, I would have no fear of what awaited me. I'm positive of where I came from before this earthly life, why I'm here, and where I'm going next.

Lately, I've been pondering how this knowledge shapes my life. I've also been thinking about people who are unsure about the purpose of life and question the after life. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a come to Jesus meeting or anything. I believe what I believe and you believe what you believe. That's our right as human beings. But, what about those who don't believe in anything? My curiosity is peaked by those of you who fall into this category.

I have friends who go through life content with not knowing what life's all about or what happens when we die. I can't imagine what that would feel like...not knowing. If you don't know what your purpose is...What guides your morals? What would you think/feel as your elevator plummeted to the earth? These questions are not in any way formed in an accusatory or judgmental fashion. I sincerely wonder about these things.

A friend posted the following video on facebook.


As I watched this video, I thought about the above dream I had years ago. I felt grateful for the knowledge I have and the peace it brings me.

I also thought about how the beliefs I have bring me peace in any number of circumstances. Like, with my ongoing, sporadic struggle with depression. Why do I keep fighting it with hope? Because, I know that this life is a learning experience. A time to be tested and to grow. Of course we are meant to have many joyous experiences as well. But, when my heart does start to fail because of life's challenges, I take courage in the the truths I know about life and the life to come. And when my elevator does fall, I know that that is when the rest of life begins.

May you each find the answers you search for.
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