Thursday, December 1, 2011

DISCLAIMER: This post was written while experiencing sleep deprivation. I insist all grammatical and spelling errors be forgiven. Post may contain extreme whining and honesty minus the sugary coating. All prudish Pats and judgmental Janes: Consider yourself WARNED!  

I am sooooooooooooooooo exhausted! Baby boss has decided to rebel against his sleep schedule. Instead of two naps a day, he wants only one, but fusses because he's tired. Instead of sleeping through the night, he wakes up at 4:30 in the morning and then wants to go back to sleep at 6. This fun new phase has been going on for over a week and I've gone from survival mode to flat out crazy. Drag me to the nutty barn kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that makes you lower your standards. Instead of my usually high standards for dress (Yoga pants, T-shirt, and a little make up...glamorous...), I've sunk really low. Let me paint you a picture.

I'm so busy and tired that I haven't washed my go-to yoga pants (five pairs) this week so, I've been wearing hideous comfy shorts...the kind restricted to at home use only...and large men's T-shirts. The lack of sleep has stressed me to the point that I have GINORMOUS zits on my face (so big that people stop and ask me what happened to my face...nice...). The hair on my legs is disgustingly long, my hair hasn't seen a salon in way to long, and let's not even talk about my current eating habits. The word slovenly comes to mind. 

Not only does my current coo-coo, zombie like state affect me, but my entire family as well. My normally well groomed children have picked out there own clothes for two mornings in a row (This is typically a big no-no with me...Can you say controlling?). On one of these days they may or may not have chosen dirty pants to wear. My poor husband studies all day every day and I haven't made him dinner in forever! Of course, he doesn't complain at all, but I feel like I haven't done anything just for him in way too long. That's the thing. I can't do anything for anyone because I'm barely functioning. 

Once again this morning, baby boss woke up in the wee hours of the morning. The hubby and I tried over and over to get him back to sleep. In one attempt to put his thrashing body back in his crib, he crabbed my boob and pinched it really hard (Yeah, I said it...BOOB...that's reality folks). That was it! The straw that broke the mama's back. I was so angry that I plopped him in his crib to cry. After he finally drifted off, I was wide awake with frustration. I feel like I spend half my life chasing sleep and the other half being unproductive due to lack there of. Eventually I just say "Forget it!" and let the chips fall where they may.

So, after finally dozing for about half an hour, my alarm went off to get the kids off to school. I was grumpy and short with them:(, but they were ready for the bus on time (nothing short of a miracle). Next baby boss woke up, also grumpy, and we had a face off. We both sat in a tired stupor on the floor. I glared at him and he glared at me, as if to say, "Now what?!" I told him I was going to win this battle today. 

I proceeded to open his Christmas present early (I pulled out the big guns). It's a pop up tent with a tunnel attached that he can crawl through. He loved it and occupied himself while I laid in a fed-up state on the couch. 

Just when I felt like I had the upper hand, I noticed it was eerily quiet. I heard a distant clang and thought, "Oh no! I left the bathroom door open!" I ran to the bathroom and found him splashing happily in the toilet and rubbing his wet hands through his hair. Baby boss-1, Mommy-0. 

After cleaning him up, I couldn't think of anything that would make me feel better. But, Coke usually helps in a pinch, so I pulled on my ratty sweatshirt, changed into jeans (man, I was proud of myself for that), put a jacket over baby boss's shirtless chest, and put my hairy legged, zit-faced self in the car. We drove to BK, I got a large Coke, and came home to whine at you. 

And just now, baby boss came up to me and started gnawing on my leg. I peered into his little mouth and, sure enough, he has a little tooth poking through. The culprit of all my woes. Some how knowing the source of my challenge helps me. Until I realize that, through all of this sleeplessness, I've forgotten to consider what my sweet little boy was going through. That he has been hurting. Once again, baby boss has taught me something...Baby boss-2, Mommy-0. 


1 comment:

  1. I love the way you write! I don't have kids so I can only attempt imagining what a frustration your day must have been, but I love the fact that you can come to your blog and write about it in a comical way. Sounds healthy to me.
    Good luck with the teething! :)


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