WHITE TRASH MAMA MELT DOWN

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Saturday I had a full on white trash melt down. I should have written about it on the day it occurred. Then my temperament could have fueled a humorous, albeit self-deprecating, account of said melt down. But, I promise I will do my best to recall all the gory details of this sad experience.

It was a Saturday like any other day. There were errands to run and I had all the kids in tow. The hubby was busy studying away as I laboriously loaded the kidlets into the Burb. Baby boss has adopted a few new habits that make errands a little more like hell interesting. One of which is to arch his back and flail his limbs furiously while emitting a high pitched scream as I try to force him into his car seat (I am amazed at the super human like strength babies tap into from some unknown source). This strength was in full force that day and paralleled all car seat, stroller, and kart strap downs, and just for fun, diaper changes too. I literally had bruises. I was thoroughly exhausted before we even completed our first errand.

Though Sassafras and the Commander are usually good helpers, I'm convinced they were fed coffee laced with crack sugar in the wee hours of that morning by some evil leprechaun like mischief maker. They were bouncing off the walls, begging for toys, running around stores and into strangers. I was constantly saying, "Stop running, Please stay close to the kart, Don't climb on that, Don't touch that...It will break." I was doing my best to keep my voice calm. But, a woman can only take so much.

To make matters worse, their behavior fed the toddler monster's unruly antics and he refused to stay sitting still. I exhausted all of my usual mommy tricks. I grabbed snacks not yet paid for from the shelves and shoveled them into baby boss's mouth only to have him throw them on the ground. I even resorted to letting him have a sucker...Bad idea!

As I was about to lose my cool, we happened to walk down the aisle of mirrors. I caught a reflection of my brood and I. My hair was in a messy bun, my workout pants had smears of who knows what, and my T-shirt was wrinkled. I shudder to mention the dime sized zit on my face (This zit took things to a whole new level. Upon reflection, I really should have called Guinness Book of World Records). This image staring back at me, was deeply saddening. It was only made worse by the fact that Baby Boss was as sticky as a strip of fly paper.

I snapped back to reality just in time to catch a mirror from crashing to the ground. A mirror knocked over by one of my sweet little angels. I flat out lost it. I grabbed the older kids by their arms and yelled at them through gritted teeth (I didn't think that was possible either). The whole check out experience is a blur. I just remember Baby Boss throwing water all over and the cashier's stunned facial expression. I think I may have mumbled/whimpered something like, "I swear my kids are usually more well behaved."

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this experience with you. Maybe I'm hoping it will act as some form of therapeutic purge for my mind. Or maybe it's to let you know that we all have horrible days. Possibly, it's a reminder to myself not to judge other mothers who are struggling in the store. Who knows! Take it for what you will. I'm just glad the good days out weigh the bad.
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9 comments:

  1. Whew! I think that tops anything I've been through.

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  2. Don't call guinness, call people of wal-mart! hahahaha. I love that you can look back on it and laugh, and then let us laugh with you. Sorry it was so rough.

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  3. Mom, That's saying something:).

    Thanks Ali Mae!

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  4. Shopping with kids can be such a nightmare. One time was so bad I was crying by the time we got to the car and I swore I'd never take any of them out again. Luckily shopping trips don't always go that way. I can def relate!

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    1. Shopping with little ones is not for the faint of heart huh!!lol

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  5. Man, can I relate! So glad Rowan is old enough now to babysit during most of my grocery trips!

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  6. My fave part is the dime-sized zit.

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    1. Keli, That was my least favorite part...In reality...not the retelling:).

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  7. I don't have kids and I have times like that myself. :(

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